Its weird  after celebrating VD with someone for 6 years, suddenly realize there is no more..time to move on! i did moved on! I even had another date for this romantic day. Life goes on! The most important is to open eyes and see beauty around...

Everyone Happy Valentine's Day!!


Some great antic stuff from Nepal I discovered today! LOVE!

lonely joy

Kitchen was always one of my favorite places. I love cooking, I love inventing and decorating, and then give some weird names to my dishes. After a couple of days of being depressed I decided to cook something for lunch. Instead of doing some packing as I need to move out from this apartment and go on a little journey of soul searching, i went to super market and got some stuff. Anyway a friend of mine is flying in from Barcelona to keep my company this weekend.
So here we go!The first one I called "Spring is behind the corner": rockets, with cous cous, red beans, peas topped up with prosciutto crudo! Amazing taste!

Then I was still feeling hungry, and decided to make something quick. Chicken bites lightly fried in oyster sauce on rockets with red beans and peas. This little art I called Lonely Joy.

...

LOVE

I wanna say it out loud but my brain numbs. May be if I cried it out, spit it out i wouldnt feel that empty. They say rebound helps. No it does not. Being with someone who smells different, who kisses different is painful. I hate to hate as much as I love. I hate being able to hate. I hate that there are so much hate in one paragraph. What if i could turn time back, what if could say something different, what if i could be just able to start everything from the beginning. I was walking home talking to God. I never got any answers, always simple monolog, left with decision making process one on one. Why do we love someone who loves to brake our heart? Why even understanding things we can’t change the way we perceive them? There is certain amount of tears for each person. Remember, when a friend of mine died i was crying the whole day, mixed it with some alcohol as it was shock. But then was a moment when I just could not anymore. I felt guilty and a bit ashamed. I was pushing myself to cry. The most weird, now i don’t remember that pain. Guess, our brain has a blocking function. So basically I know that one day this pain will be forgotten, so I can slow down on torturing myself. May be its a Scorpios’ thing, to burn till the end to be reborn from ashes. And to that someone special to me, I want to wish at least once in a lifetime to feel what i have felt: simply love.

Angel...

Where is my angel? I keep on calling him, but guess his flight was really delayed! Angel where are you?! Tell me where to send the tickets? This year is almost gone. Can you erase my sadness? I am so looking forward to step into the new. Can you hold my hand? I miss those days. I miss you!

was doing snaps for kate on d balcony)

here she is:

ya stolko raz vlublyalyalsya v tvou ulibku,
v tvoi smeh,
tvoi glaza nemnogo priwurinnie hitrie..
vse vremya boyalsya pokazat eto,
no vse vokrug znali-eto bilo nevozmojno skrit.
ya lublu tebya, i mne vse ravno naskolko eto vzaimno.
kogda ti smotrish na menya tak kak seichas
vse v etom mire uje ne vajno...

pics from amFar

Was an amazing night.. Loved! Yeah kinda late posting pics from it.

another +1

I am another +1. This year I spent my birthday away from parties and loud places with my parents and my nephew on the south of Thailand. For sure I made a 2 days run shopping in Hong Kong and managed to squeeze dinner in Singapore on my way back. Was really terrific to get away from first cold weeks in Italy. As always've been thinking of my achievements and who i am, what i am and where i am. As always got depressed of that i am too far away from where I want to be. Well, but in d same time, if I had everything now, what would I dream of?!

like in tat joke:

-u have a dream?
-yeah, wanna quit drinking.
-then quit!
-dude! how am i gonna live without dream then?!

I will be always in love with this divine and absolutely carrying me away view

 On the top of the world.. felt cold but kinda comfy! haha

 Amazing to wake up every morning and see this beauty around..

I just love this picture...My little angel knows how to use Ipad and use skype. He dials his dad by himself.. And he is not even 2.. 

One of my fav beaches.. where i can concentrate on anything.. i just .. relax my brain.. completely! haha

PS' Hmmm.. Completely forgot to make any pics of me at my birthday lunch with parents! And for the record it was an alcohol free lunch and whole vac!

florence

This city is all about love, it is full of sad lonely vibes, of broken hearts.. I will be frank with you, I am not a big fan of museums, once i will be old, i will go and visit everything. Now I love traveling, and have my own routes. Usually I love being alone once I walk around a new place, with my music. Florence ... The way i saw it.. I saw it really gloomy and full of tears, kinda a place of escape to be alone and lonely. I would love to be there with someone I love, but there is always but in my life.. or as i said seemed to be the only one word.. It was drizzling and cold. Autumn has finally come to Italy! I was craving for it.  I did not have much time, otherwise i would sit somewhere between the bridges with my notebook, draw and dream..

tropics fever

was on my way home this morning, and was looking through old pics in my blog... reading the archive. Tweeted a little bit, read some tweets, and caught myself listening the same music my friend was listening at the same moment, and she was having a thai food, and i was reading my blog from thai period. Then I got home and was on d line with my dad talking, and he was like: do you wanna come over to thailand for a week or two? Hmmm.. too much thailand this morning... I kinda miss .. lets call it tropics fever.. and yeah i am sick with Asia, in a very good way sick, meaning love asia! No wonder I spend so much  time there! I know I m having a completely different chapter now, but it doesnt mean i cannot go and read some old pages right?)

seems ... feels... dreams

Seems like the word "seem" seemed to be all over my life
But it only seemed and nothing was real.
Feels like i was fulfilling too much my life with this silly feelings
But only I felt this way.
Lonely stepping out of my house and being scared to be alone,
Cuz i was.
Dreaming of you dreaming to be with me..
But obviously seemed like my lonely dreams full of feelings were full of loneliness.see

tel aviv

I feel absolutely reborn after my trip to Tel Aviv. Frankly, the city itself is not beautiful, kinda dirty and messed up! But there is definitely something in the air.. It was a divine trip full of time for myself to think over and laughs with my friends. I felt like I spent a month there. Now I am back in Milan, and I am stronger and guess far away from that little mental break down I was going through. I hope one day i will come back to this amazing country to get this amazing energy!
There were some really irritating moments though:
1. Rubbish on the streets. People seems don't know what rubbish bin is for.
2. Persistant waiters asking for more tips.
3. Very super mega lazy service everywhere.
4. I know we have to pay a certain price for security! But guys! Do I look like someone who is going to have a bomb in my bag?! It took them almost 3 hours to check my little bag. Well, on my way there, they dress me off, and scan with all the equipment they had. I was forbidden even to go to the toilet. And security was escorting me to the plane to my seat! What a pleasant service! .. OK! Enough complains! x

I guess we are a little bit tipsy here.. can see it in my eyes!) Yeah sis?

Lago di Garda

Spent an amazing day on a lake yesterday! Finally I had a little getaway from city and could switch off my mind! I absolutely loved the place! Adore! Divine! This sunday wanna go to aqua park for a day! Since the Sun still on, wanna get the best of it!

here are some pics from the lake. Love, Russ

hiking in spai

Oh my! I am  going to miss spain! It was an incredible journey! Especially nights in Barcelona will be missed so much! I don't actually remember me dancing till 6-7 am  in the morning! Was I a student then? haha 

I did a lot of sport activities, especially hiking in the area our house is located! Look at the pictures and video i have taken yesterday! 

May be i will come back here for another weekend in august! 

Flying back to Milan! Cant wait to be back home!x

tribute to my friends..

Its been almost 2 weeks i am exploring Spain. I ve been here before, but I guess, was in the age when i was too young to appreciate it as I can do it now. 

I am staying in amazing house 2 miles away from Sitges with a spectacular sea view. Dinners  with parents on the roof terrace are just something beyond.. I am going to miss this place!  I wish there was one awesome place like this, where all friends could perfectly fit in. This year was absolutely super mega full of amazing trips with my best buddies! I want you  guys to know, how blessed I am to have you in my life and be able to see you, get all these high vibes of happiness from you!

Talia! I love you, even when we are both too emotional like it happened in Cannes! I miss us all the time, but I got used to the life style we have! You are my jet setter number one! Loving going out in NYC, getting ready for the red carpet in Cannes, or having champagne in Hong Kong coloring my hair! I love u!

Karina! I miss our moments in Hong Kong! Especially last weeks sharing our extra huge apartment with fab roof where we hang out!! Thanks for keeping me fit! Love you!

Ann! I miss us getting wasted and ending up in some fast food! And I hate you for reminding me about our biggest sin in the next morning!I miss jumping on the plane at 7 am after party and flying to Manila to have another party! 

Ozgur! Thailand. Hong Kong..Hawaii.. and more more other places! Every minute I spent with you were full of laughs!  Now we are closer! Damn bad you didn't make this time in Spain, but have great time in China! Sure see you later!

JT. Well, you ve been the biggest part of my life for so many years! You are my family! I luv u!

CHIS! I am happy that since you move out from hong kong you didn't  move out from my life! I love your rationalism and being able to confront whatever i say with an argument i am not able to confront back haha. Also Miss you tons!

Szilvia! I never expected we going to be so close! But you became not only my flat mate, but my best mate! And i cant imagine my life without you now..

Valeeva! You know how awesome you are! there is a huge sex cloud above you, that keeps on showering you with sexy vibes! Men are melting looking at you! And i am so proud of u! Your way is not the easiest one, but you will get there one day! I am sure! 

Dashkins! My designer, my friend… my SOS number when i need any style advise! I miss you every day! Life threw us far away from each other! But i am still in your life and you are in mine! You have my heart! You know that!

Love! Its been almost 10 years since i met you! We had so many moments! Thanks for being you! I am sorry i couldn't be there when you had you white dress moment! But I am sure we will go through it looking at the videos! Kisses!

IDRIS! MIKSHAKE AND PRADA CAN GO TOGETHER! We proved it! I MISS U MAN!

Andrew. You inspire me when things are not the way I want them to be! We know each other for 10 years now, and I am always looking forward catching up and do what love doing when we meet- eating! haha))))

Ivan! I guess you are the only person I know and ve been friends with for 25 years! We don't meet often, but when we meet we don't have gaps… I completely understand what you mean without saying a word! that what i call friendship! 

Kate! Plushka! My bench mate! haha! I am so happy that we are back to our walks in a place where we both are happy and satisfied! I ll be back soon!

Kaza!!!! My soul mate! 13 years? is it? There is no need to comment on anything! I love you so much the way you are…… so much! i will see you soon i know that!

My mom once told me its not possible to have many close friends! Its not true! i do have! I trust you guys! And i am very blessed to share my life with you! I want to thank you for everything…

Kate.. My lavanda dance partner! I will see you this friday! And promise that this saturday we will make it to the beach! I luv u!

I haven't include some close friends who live in St.Petersburg! They don't speak english and hardly read my blog! BUT GUYS  I LOVE YOU! REALLY DO! VOLENKO, AELITA, BEZZ, LOBZ, RANTA!, Mazya

I guess this full moon made me kinda emotional! VEry often we don't say things to people we are with. Always wanna but forget, or just …dunno! I say it, and i WANNA TYPE IT here so it will be forever online. I MISS EACH OF YOU! THANKS!